Better Is One Day

For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Psalm 84:10

We sing this song all of the time, but until last Sunday I hadn’t really considered whether I believe it. Of course, when things are running amok, I can say with my whole heart that I believe it. You might even hear me ask the Lord to come on any day.

But, what about the good days. I mean the REALLY good days, the BEST days? Do I really believe that one day in the presence of God is better than 1,000 of those really good days?

I love how The Message puts it:

One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches. I’d rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.

Now, I have never been to a Greek island, but I have been to a Caribbean island called Nevis. It was beautiful. The temperature was perfect. No stress, except driving on the wrong side of the road. We were there for a week, and I would go back in a heartbeat. Have you ever been somewhere like that? Someplace so absolutely perfect with nearly perfect days?

The question must be asked: would I trade not that one week, but 1000 days on Nevis for 1 in God’s court? Let’s put it in perspective, that’s almost 143 weeks or 3 years. I would love to say with a resounding YES I would. But sadly, I find this concept very challenging. We love this earth and its beauty.

But here is what I know. God loves us so much, He would never ask us to give up something beautiful for something second rate. While we were on Nevis, there was a full moon. I remember thinking how amazing the moon looked that much closer to the equator. Shining onto the ocean, it was breathtaking and led me to worship Him. If something can be so beautiful down here, how much more breathtaking will heaven be? Can a beautiful moon on a beautiful night even come close what is in store for us? THAT is not how our GOD does business.

I want to be better at keeping this in perspective. This world has its good points, but the best is yet to come.

Let's Get Uncomfortable

This morning, Beth kicked off the new sermon series called “Better”. The idea that “normal” is what keeps us from being great really resonated with me. Beth made the point that normal is easy and takes no effort. We will even stay in painful situations because normal is comfortable.

This past week I did something I have never done before. I gave blood. Why have I never done this before? I am not sure. It is not like I don’t have a good example. My husband, Dave, has given regularly for years. And I understand the need. I have relatives who have needed blood due to accidents or cancer treatments. I would like to say I overcame my fear, but really, I am not afraid of needles. I’ve had multiple IVs and vials of blood taken.

I have given this a lot of thought this week and I am embarrassed to say I rationalized my decision to NOT give blood. I have low blood pressure, I’m borderline anemic, blah, blah, blah. The reasons all seem kind of silly after the fact. It was not painful. Uncomfortable, but not painful. I did not feel horrible. Maybe a little tired that evening, but not horrible. On the other hand, I felt like I had done something amazingly good and selfless when I walked out of the center. And just to keep it all in perspective (and keep me humble), I have a nephew who is donating his kidney to someone he doesn’t know.

The sermon this morning just confirmed what I had already concluded. Most of my life I have shied away from doing certain things, not because I was afraid, but just because they took me out of my comfort zone or were not “normal”.

Why do we do this? Why do we try to insulate ourselves from being in uncomfortable situations? What would life look like if we embraced that idea that somethings are just uncomfortable – yes, even painful. Because lets face it - to love is to open ourselves up to uncomfortable situations – even pain and loss.

Ask the new parent who is happy to get 3-4 hours of sleep at a time. Let’s not even talk about changing diapers. They love their child, but any parent will tell you that to be a parent is to be thrust into uncomfortable situations at the very least. And then there are those parents who have lost a child due to disease or an accident. I’ve never heard a parent say they wished they had never had the child they lost.

Here’s the thing. We should expect to be uncomfortable at times. We should not expect to live life without any pain. We should expect it because, well, not to sound trite, but this world is not our home! Especially as followers of Jesus, we should expect to be called beyond the normal or comfortable.

So, what if we really got this? What if we embraced being uncomfortable? And what if we also embraced the positives that could come out of our being uncomfortable?

• What if, instead of being afraid of a needle or being uncomfortable, we embraced the idea of saving a life?
• What if, instead of being afraid of rejection, we reached out to that lonely person?

• What if, instead of worrying that we don’t know what to say, we just went and sat with someone who was grieving?

• What if, instead of going on our yearly trip to the coast, we spent that money to go to Guatemala and love on some orphans?

• What if we opened up our home and hosted a child from Belarus for six weeks?

• What if we volunteered to make coffee at church one week a month?

• What if we just quit thinking about ourselves so much and thought about the other person more?

There are so many things I have felt prompted to do in life, but I have allowed myself to be shackled by comfort instead of walking freely in obedience. I know – that just doesn’t sound normal. We don’t think about obedience being a way to freedom. But that is what I have found.

During 2017, I want to be better at walking in obedience to the Holy Spirit instead of being shackled by my own comfort or what the world considers normal. Some of these things may be big, like hosting a child from Belarus. Others may be small, like giving blood.

What about you? Beth ended the sermon with two questions:

• What is your normal?
• What can you do today to start to change that?

I will add one more to the mix:

• Are there things you don’t do, not because you are afraid, but because you just like to be comfortable?

As always, you can listen to the entire sermon here:  Listen On Line

My Future Belongs To Me

Do you really think what you are doing matters? 

This is a well-meaning question that I often get from friends when I tell them that I am going on another short-term mission trip. 

I am not angry when I am asked this question because I get it.  When you look at Mexico City, Uganda, or El Salvador, it is easy to get overwhelmed by the need. For example, according to UNICEF, more than half of Uganda's children live in poverty.  This doesn't just mean that they live in a household with low income but it includes being deprived of basic necessities such as food, shelter, clean water and education. 

When I recently took a trip to Uganda with Fields of Dreams Uganda, I was overwhelmed by the need that I observed.  For every child that we assisted by paying school fees, many others still could not afford an education.  Even if we could help the children stay in school, many of the children are starving and go the entire day without food.  If the children are in school and have some food, they may be abused at home, or they may not even have a home and live at the school. 

At times, when I only saw what was right in front of me, I felt overwhelmed and wanted to give up.  However, serving on short term mission trips and serving on the Board of Directors of Fields of Dreams Uganda have taught me that progress is  slow and takes time and dedication, but much progress is being made. 

If we go into an environment and try to "fix" every issue, we will quickly burn out and lose hope, but if we focus on the individuals that are impacted by our work, that is where true progress is observed.

When I was in Gulu, Uganda, I briefly met a young man and we connected.  We chatted for a few minutes, and I gave him a picture of my family that had my contact information on the back.  This was in late February.

Just this week, I received a message from this young man through Facebook.  Somehow, despite having no electricity or running water, he was able to gain internet access.  He had kept the picture that I gave him, and he messaged me. He told me he is studying hard to reach his dreams.  Then he asked how his brothers and sister in the USA are doing.  He specifically mentioned each of my children by name.

In that moment, I knew the answer to the question, "Do you really think what you are doing matters?"  My trip to Uganda may not matter to the country of Uganda, or even the town of Gulu.  But when I just showed up at one school and met one boy, I mattered so much to him that he cherished a picture of my family for months.  He held onto my contact information until he could find a way to contact me.  

If my trip meant nothing to anyone else, it mattered to this boy.  This boy who has dreams and hope.  I matter to him. 

Isn't that all that really matters?  When you read about Jesus and his ministry, most of Jesus' miracles focused on the individual.  Sure, he preached to the masses, but when he healed, he healed the individual.  He didn't ride into town and end hunger.  He didn't eradicate leprosy and disease.  Jesus met the need of the individual that he was with at that moment.  If someone needed food, he fed the individual.  If someone needed healing, he healed the individual. 

We are not called to save the world or solve the world's problems.  We are called to just show up. And when we just show up, our job is to be present in the moment and love the people that stand before us. 

Skeptics may say that we have done nothing that matters, but if you talk to the boy in Gulu that I am messaging daily, I think he would say otherwise.  I think he would tell you that just by showing up, he knows that someone cares. Someone loves him.  It gives him hope.

For more reflections by Beth Gianopulos, check out www.PWLawyerMom.org

Tugging at my heart

I keep having to remind myself that I can't fix everything ...

And for someone who likes to put the pieces together to make things work even if it is sometimes an odd way to do it, that can be frustrating,

But it is frustrating with a dose of hope sprinkled in ...

Seeing students hungry that first day at a school tugged on my heart. I know how it is for me to focus on and learn anything when I am hungry (I can always tell when my daughter is hungry too ... her personality seems to change).  I see this to a degree in the students I teach each day ... although there is really no comparison.

The sprinkle of hope is that there is already the beginning of a plan to meet that need!  Solving problems like this can't be done by one person or group working in isolation. I have a feeling the cooperation, creativity, communication, and critical thinking will all come in to play in addressing this need.

I was already thinking of ways that I could continue doing art parties like I did to raise money for my trip to a little.

But it can't be done alone ...

Then on days 2 and 3, I found another issue that tugged at my heart ...

(That seems to be a theme for me this week ...)

On day 2, we met and talked with a groups of girls about the things that could prevent them from coming to school. The thought of not being able to afford school fees was repeated a number of times. On day 3, we heard the same thing from the parents.

The sprinkle of hope for me was that these students and parents saw the importance of education and wanted to be able to come to school. Beth Gianopolus shared with us that her group on day 2 talked not only about the difficulties students have but also about the joys they have.  We got to hear about the joys both students and parents have on day 3.  Education, friends at school, reading, and Fields of Dreams were just a few of the joys that stood out to me. That made my heart smile!

Although I know I can't tackle solving the problem of school fees myself, I do know that there is something I can do!  I can make a monthly contribution to the Fields of Dreams scholarship program.

And you know it may not be much, but it could make the difference for one student!

I may not be able to fix everything, but for me this trip has reinforced how important it is for me to be a Woman of Substance and do my part in helping others!

We have a new home, but we have not reached our final destination

We have a new home!  Sunday November 8 was an exciting and amazing day for Project:Re3.  The first Sunday in our new missions hub/church was the two year anniversary of Project:Re3. 

Two years ago we asked a few friends to come dream with us, and almost 80 people showed up at our home.  God had led Mike to read Isaiah 58 again and again.  From that verse, we found our mission – to restore, rebuild, renovate, and make the community livable again (hence the name, “Re3”).  After that first Sunday, we had the blessing of worshiping at River Landing at Sandy Ridge.  We are so grateful to River Landing for allowing us to grow and worship with them. 

Although we loved River Landing, we knew that was a temporary location, and we longed to have a permanent home that would allow us to do even more ministry in our community.  We found a property in Walkertown, and spent months and months updating the property.  The Project:Re3 community spent finances and put so much work into a property that we ultimately would not use.  We encountered road block after road block, and there were times when we were discouraged.  We wondered why things were not working out.

Then, Mike saw a sign that Good Sheppard Moravian Church was having their final worship service.  Mike contacted the Moravian Church and indicated our interest in the property.    The Moravian Church was amazingly gracious and worked with us.  We purchased the property that was formerly Good Shepard Moravian Church, and quickly prepared for our first worship service. 

While preparing for our first service, Mike found the first bulletin for Good Sheppard Moravian church.  The first Sunday for Project:Re3 in our new location would have been Good Sheppard Moravian Church’s 28^th anniversary.  This solidified for us that we were exactly where we needed to be, and that God’s timing is perfect.    

Our first worship service was nothing short of amazing.  There was so much energy and I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. 

Although we have found a new home, we know that we have not finished our journey.  While we are grateful for a more permanent location, we know that in the end, a building is just a building.  Our community is called to break the chains of injustice, to get rid of exploitation in the workplace, to free the oppressed, and cancel debts.  We are to feed the hungry, invite the homeless into our homes, and put cloths on those that have none. (Isaiah 58, The Message)  If we are to fulfill this mission, we cannot rest in the comfort of a new building.  We must be out in our community and out in the world. 

If we are faithful, God has promised us in Isaiah 58 that we will use the old rubble of past lives to build anew.  We will rebuild the foundations of our past, and we will be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.    

Pine Ridge, South Dakota Mission Trip

I have wanted to write this post for a while, but it has been too painful.  Shortly after we returned from our Pine Ridge mission trip, my dear friend and mentor, Father Robert McGee ("Father Bob") died.  Father Bob loved Native American stories and traditions, and I spent the mission trip texting him about our adventures and promising to share pictures and stories when I returned. Because he fell ill so quickly, I was never able to share the stories of our time in Pine Ridge.  This has saddened me, and it has been painful to reflect on the trip without thinking about how much he would have loved the ministry that we participated in.

The Pine Ridge mission trip was nothing short of amazing.  A group of 35 of us flew out of Charlotte and arrived in Omaha Nebraska.

We then rented 9 cars and made the 7-8 hour drive to Pine Ridge, SD.  Along the way, two cars had tire problems.  God blessed us because the flat tire and low tire pressure happened at a service station. For those of you that are familiar with the long stretches of nothing (except corn fields and pastures), you realize what a blessing this was.

We arrived in Pine Ridge late at night during a pow wow. We were met with heavy traffic, people riding horses down the street, and what looked like a huge carnival around us.

We had a huge number of first time mission trip participants!

 This trip was great for all ages - we had children (ages 10 and 11).  Because this was a family trip, Mike, Jacob, and Mary Etta were able to participate as three generations on this trip.

This trip exemplified Project:Re3's values - we renovated homes, rebuilt trust, & restored hope.

The primary purpose of this trip was to renovate homes. Many of the homes were in extreme disrepair.  We were tasked with painting the homes and making small repairs.  It was amazing to see the difference that a few repairs and a coat of paint could make.  One of the hardest parts was only having the time and supplies to paint and make small repairs.  Many of the homes desperately need a new roof, some need new siding, and some homes flood due to holes in the siding.

We also rebuilt trust.  The house that we worked on belonged to Cornell and Clover.  Cornell shared stories with us about his family.  One day, Cornell told me that his father went to a "Christian" school.  The school punished his father and washed his mouth out with soap if he spoke Lakota.  Cornell said, "and these were Christians that did this too him."  It is no wonder that when we first arrived, many of the people were slow to open up to us.  However, by the end of the week, the residents of each home were eating lunch with us, participating in our devotions, and sharing parts of their culture and history with us.

We visited the memorial for the Massacre of Wounded Knee.  This helped our group better understand our complicated history.

By midweek, Cornell and Clover were visiting with us each day.  

Finally, we restored hope.  One of the homes that our group worked on had a lot of trash around the house.  After the group spent a few days painting, the family was so excited that they stayed up until 2 am cleaning up their yard.  They told our group that they wanted the yard and outside of the home to look as nice as the house would look after it was painted.  It was moving to know that a week of work and some simple repairs on a home could restore pride and hope.

There are too many stories of the wonderful people to share.  I encourage you to talk to people that went on the trip and hear their stories.  I will try to share a few stories of people that touched me.  In the home pictured below, 15-19 people live in this small space.  The house has not had running water for a year.  The only form of transportation for this family was a horse.  The children adored our group, and the family, despite having no water and little food, wanted to thank us by making skillet bread for everyone.

The family prepared skillet bread for everyone.

Cornell and Clover had no food.  When we arrived at their home, one of the doors had a large board over it.  Cornell and Clover were robbed, and all that was taken was food.  Food is very expensive, so our group drove over an hour one way to the nearest Walmart (which is not on the reservation).  We purchased food for Clover and Cornell.  Shortly after we gave them the food, we saw people coming in and walking out with food.  Although Cornell and Clover had no food, they shared the food that we gave them with their family and neighbors.  

We filled the trunk with food.

We also had the pleasure of meeting Granny.  Granny has lost one leg due to diabetes, and is the community grandmother.  She is very talented at quilting.  Granny supports herself and her family by making quilts and selling them.  

If you are interested in helping, Project:Re3 is committed to long term assistance for the Community of Allen in Pine Ridge, South Dakota.  Some immediate ways that you can help:
1.  Fuel is very expensive.  Many people take advantage of the people on the reservation by raising prices to the point that fuel is not an option to heat their homes.  The land is open grassland, so there is no wood to burn.  The temperatures are extreme - 90 degrees in the summer and 30 below zero in the winter.  Snow may be 12 feet high in the winter.  Many people told us that they had to sit in their car with their small children to stay warm.  Some families had to burn old cloths and shoes to heat their home.  Project:Re3 has an arrangement with an oil company that we trust.  We have paid to have fuel delivered to families.  If you are interested in doing this, you can send a check to Project:Re3, with "Pine Ridge - Fuel" in the memo line.
2.  Project:Re3 will be returning to Allen, which is the small town on the Pine Ridge reservation where we worked.  We hope to do more than one week of trips this summer.  We hope to do more difficult projects, such as roof repairs.  You can join us on a trip or help with the supplies and support the trip financially.
3.  Granny needs people to purchase her beautiful quilts and she needs fabric.  From time to time, we are sending donations of fabric.  My friend's group, Women Embark, took up fabric collections to send to Granny.  Granny also takes orders and will do custom quilts, so if you are interested, let us know.
4.  Due to the harsh winters, the people need coats and blankets.  We will be collecting gently used or new coats and blankets.  However, shipping is very expensive.  We are requesting that people enclose a small donation with the donated coats and blankets to help cover shipping costs.

Short Term Missions - Thoughts on How to Help, Not Hurt

Recently, I have read a number of articles, books, and blogs questioning the importance of short term missions.  Some of the criticisms of short term missions are that short term mission teams often know little to nothing about the countries and people they visit, the teams often spend a lot of money that could be better used for other purposes, and in some instances, short term mission teams discourage and even hurt the communities they hoped to serve.  Often times, short term mission teams are accused of visiting a city or country once, and never helping the area again (this failure to support may be by failing to serve again, failure to provide financial support, etc.)  Finally, many short term mission teams are accused of getting more from the trip themselves than they actually give.

I believe that there can be a strong argument made for short term mission trips if the trips are planned appropriately and if the trip has the right focus.  While I am not an expert on short term missions, my husband and I have traveled on a number of mission trips both nationally and internationally.  Through our experiences, I have some suggestions on how short term mission trips can be life changing for the short term mission team, as well as the people the team serves.

1.  Do your research.  It is insulting for a mission team to go to another culture or even another area of their own country, without some knowledge of the people they will meet.  Before I travel to a region, I read about the area - I read about problems and issues facing the area, about the culture and the people, and about the needs.  If I have friends or contacts that have lived in the area or currently live in the area, I ask questions about appropriate behavior, cultural sensitivities, and what they view as the greatest needs in the area.

2.  Be a good steward of your resources.  There are horror stories of Christians that have poured money into ministries that are not true ministries, but are established instead to make money off of the generosity of others.  As a working mother, I have limited resources - I have limited time and money.  If I am going to invest my time and money (which is really God's precious time and money), I want to make sure that I am making the best investment of my time and money that I possibly can - I want to maximize my investment.  One of the best ways to do this is through a short term trip.  During my short term mission trips to Mexico City, I have met independent missionaries that are working with women and children that are victims of human trafficking. Through multiple trips to the area, I have seen  first hand the work that the missionaries do, and through the relationships I have built, I know their heart.  I have also worked at an orphanage, and through staying at the orphanage, I have observed the children being loved and cared for.  These first hand accounts have allowed me to give freely to these ministries with the knowledge that the missionaries that I support share my heart and they are using the money that I donate to help women and children in need.  I realize you may  not be able to visit each location yourself, but there are other ways to research non-profits and ministries.  You can learn a great deal through google searches, and the larger social networks afforded by social media allows you to find others that may have served in an area or have a mutual connection or contact at a potential ministry.  Additionally, this blog will have ministry spotlights (you can click the ministry spotlight tag) of organizations, missionaries and groups that we believe have a heart for Christ and a deep desire to love and help the needy.

3.  Go back.  Although my husband and I have been on a number of mission trips, many of the mission trips return to the same places.  I will never forget returning to the orphanage in Mexico City and hearing the shock in the leader's voice when she explained that our group was the ONLY group that ever came back.  She stated that a number of mission groups may pass through, but NO ONE ever came back.  We now travel to the orphanage at least once a year.  While the people that make up our short term mission teams may change, we have built a mutual trust with the children of the orphanage.  While the kids still cry when we leave, they always excitedly ask when we will come back.  By returning to the same location to do our ministry, we have established a mutual trust with the children and the leaders of the orphanage that has opened doors that we could never imagine.  In addition to physically going back, we also financially support the orphanage.  When the orphanage has specific needs, we are the first people they ask to help.  A number of us at ProjectRe3 are also able to write to children in the orphanage and support them, even when we are not physically there.

4.  Rely on the full time missionary/ the contact that you have at the location.  When I first visited San Salvador, the missionary Jon, picked us up from the airport.  During the entire drive to our home for the week, I asked Jon about the country, about the people we would serve, about how we could help without hurting.  We relied on Jon to tell us how to stay safe, how not to offend the people that live there.  Our group followed Jon's lead, because the worst thing we could do would be to harm his ministry there by our ignorance.  When you go on a short term trip, you must understand that your host is the "expert" on the country.  They will know the true needs, they can guide you so that you are not scammed but truly help those that need help, and they can ensure that you have a rich experience.  In a few weeks, we will also travel to the reservation in South Dakota.  Our team is currently, and will continue to, rely heavily on a contact that lives on the reservation, knows the families, and knows the needs of the people that we will serve.

5.  Experience the culture.  While working is important, it is also important to get to know the people that you meet and to attempt to understand the poverty that you see (Jesus modeled this by spending time on relationships and talking to the people that he healed and helped).  When I traveled to Mexico City and San Salvador, I was overwhelmed by the hopelessness. I immediately asked about the underlying problems that led to the homelessness, drug use, and gang activity.  Though asking questions, I gained insight into the history of the country.  I also learned how some American policy has impacted the countries, and how decisions that are made in the US may impact the lives of the people that I met.  I asked questions while I was there, and I have continued to follow news of the countries through the relationships that I formed.  I also got to know the people.  I remember admiring a flower in a squatters village where we served.  One of the ladies was delighted that I loved her flower, and immediately dug up a flower to give to me.

6.  Relationships.  The one lesson that I have learned through our short term trips is that in the end, relationships matter more than we can imagine.  Many short term mission teams want to arrive in a region and "fix" the problems and evangelize to the lost.  While this may sometimes happen, true transformation happens through relationships. Although I have not been able to keep up with every person that I have met on a trip, by maintaining strong connections and relationships with contacts in the areas that I have served, I am able to check in on some of the orphans that I love.  I am able to find out that a child is off of the street and receiving job training or that I need to pray more for another child who is in danger.  I am able to follow the projects that we started by continuing to support and keep in contact with the missionaries there.  And, in the instances when I have the privilege of returning to a location more than once, I am able to get to know the children over time and watch them grow.

7.  Support the local economy and empower people as much as possible.  When we travel, we try to buy supplies and support the local economy as much as possible.  More importantly, by establishing relationships, we are often able to partner in ministries that empower the locals to provide for their families.  For example, one ministry we have worked a great deal with in Mexico is a ministry that is set up to help women who were trapped in human trafficking work and develop skills in a beauty salon.  Our group helped remodel and do the construction on the salon so that the missionary that works there can bring in ladies and teach them to cut hair and paint nails.  This ministry not only ministers to the ladies that go to the salon for services, but it empowers the women that are working there to develop a skill that will allow them to support themselves.  People need to feel that they have a purpose and that they have hope.  By finding ways to help people feel useful, this ministry provides hope and provides for the individuals after our mission team has gone home.

Another great example of this is through our contacts in El Salvador.  Jon & Danielle have started the Lighthouse ministry. Not only do they meet physical needs of the homeless (providing showers and clothing), but they also provide literacy training and microenterprise training through a bakery.  I encourage you to read about them here.  They are a great example of creating sustainable projects that pour back into the community they serve.

8.  Be inspired to serve at home.  After a mission trip to inner city Atlanta, one of our youth group members came home inspired.  The group spent time making meals for the homeless and distributing them. Instead of returning home and simply discussing what she learned, this young lady thought, why don't we feed the homeless here?  She developed Feed the Hungry.  Our youth group gathered funds, and made meals every other week.  They then hopped in a van, and found homeless individuals.  They gave the meals to the homeless, and eventually began to collect other necessities like toothpaste, cloths, and coats.  As they ministered in the same areas, they learned the stories of the people they served.  They built relationships (see number 6 above).

9.  Love.  In the end, how can you do harm when you are loving a child?  The pictures below are of two very special kids in Mexico that we have had the honor of loving and watching grow.  We love them and hug
them during the weeks that we visit.  My prayer is that the relationships we have started will continue for a lifetime.  When we come home I talk about them, and I talk about the issues that impact these children.  I am changed for knowing them.  I want to help other orphans, at home and around the world.  I want to love my children more - because I realize how precious children are.  I care about what happens in Mexico because it impacts people that I love.

I didn't even touch on the impact these short term mission trips have had on the individuals that serve on our short term trips.  Although some people are not changed, we have had 3 individuals decide to dedicate at least a year to full time mission service.  We have had a number of people find inspiration to start local ministries.  A large number of people find that they left their heart in one of the countries and return there again and again.  Project:Re3 supports a number of the missionaries and orphanages through prayer, financial support, and in any other way that is needed.  The short term mission trips that I have experienced have been life changing for me, and I hope for the people that I have served.

Reflection - Your Words

This weekend, Mike officiated the wedding of one of my dear college friends.  During the ceremony, the couple pledged their love to one another.  The bride and groom swore to love one another in sickness and in health, in happiness and sadness, through good times and bad times.  The groom became emotional when he promised to love his bride, the woman that made him a better man.  

During the ceremony, I was emotional.  I was happy for my friend, and I reflected on how blessed I am to have a life partner that has been with me through incredibly difficult times as well as happy times.  I felt my heart swell with love and pride for my husband.  But I didn't tell him this.  Like so many other times, the moment passed, and I began to chat with friends and participate in wedding festivities.

I made the mistake of assuming that my husband somehow knew, through ESP or osmosis, how I felt about him.  Maybe I also thought that if I have been with him for sixteen years, he must know that I love him.  I assumed that if I "think it", others must know it.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  

Proverbs 18: 20-21 says:

Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach;
    good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest. 

Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Our words have the power to give life or to destroy like poison.  Our words can satisfy the mind and gratify the heart.  We can speak words of love and life - reminding the people that we encounter that they are God's masterpiece, that they are loved; or we can poison their souls with destructive words of hate.  

Think of how different our relationships could be if we simply took the time to speak our love and gratitude.  I know the difference words have made in my life.  I don't remember every word my parents spoke to me, but I remember being told EVERY DAY, "I love you".  I remember being told often that I could do anything I wanted to do if I worked hard and had faith in God. My parents said these words so often that I am surprised I didn't try to build a rocket ship to the moon - no task has ever seemed beyond the realm of possibility.  All of this is because of the words that were quietly and consistently spoken to me - I love you; you are special; God loves you; you are intelligent; you are strong.  

My challenge to you today is to speak aloud the kind words that you think.  Tell your spouse that you would marry them again tomorrow, tell your kids that they are miraculous gifts from God, tell your coworkers that you see their hard work and you value their contribution - let the people in your life know how much you care.

Our words are free - they cost nothing - but they mean more than all the money in the world to the people that need to hear them.  Be careful not to sit quietly with words of affirmation - do not try to preserve such words for your wedding day or other days of significance - instead, use each day as an opportunity to give life freely and often.

Small Things Big Difference - Renovated Thoughts

I recently had a friend comment that he wishes he could be as happy as me.  This made me reflect on the person I am now, as well as the person I used to be.

Most people that know me now would probably describe me as joyful, happy, bubbly, excitable.  People probably assume that I was born happy, or that I naturally have an optimistic and sunny disposition.  Little would these people know that I was once clinically depressed.  My depression plunged me into a deep pit of despair that left me feeling empty, hopeless, and utterly alone.  I tried to hide my depression, and I would often have to duck into a restroom to weep before putting on a fake smile to face the world.  My transition from depression to joy was not easy, and it was not rapid. Shedding my cloak of despair and choosing joy took years of therapy, prayer, hard work, and painful self discovery.  

When Mike spoke on Sunday, he discussed how our thoughts form our words and our words form our actions.  The focus of his sermon series has been on making small changes that often lead to a big difference. In our society, this is not welcome advice.  We tend to want to make one big sweeping change (or at the most, follow a five step plan), that immediately yields results.  We forget that our brain, like our muscles, must be exercised.  No weight lifter goes into the gym one day and expects to win a weight lifting competition the following day.  We know that to tone and condition our muscles, we have to do repetitive weight lifting consistently for a long period of time before we see the "big" results.  Why would we think our thoughts are different?  If we have "trained" our brains to think a certain way for years, why would we think that we can simply change the way we think over night?

During the course of my journey, I have learned some tips for capturing the negative thoughts and focusing on the positive.  Romans 12:2 gives us hope that we have the power to transform our minds, when it says, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind."  The path to spiritual transformation, which sets us apart,  begins with the renewing of our mind.

In considering how to renew our minds and transform our thoughts, I must make the disclaimer that this post is not meant to be a cure for severe clinical depression or mental illness.  For severe depression and mental illness, a physician's care, and a good therapist are necessary.  Sometimes medication is necessary.  I would never tell a diabetic to suck it up and get better without insulin, and I would give the same advice to someone struggling with mental illness - if a physician says you have a chemical imbalance requiring medication, you should follow your doctor's advice.  However, if you are struggling to gain control over some of your negative and destructive thoughts, these tips may be helpful.

1.  Recognize thoughts are just thoughts.  We cannot control every negative thought that pops into our head, but we can control how we react to those thoughts.  We can ruminate on negative thoughts and lies such as, "I am not good enough", "I am a failure", "I can't do anything right."  Or, we can take power from the scripture.  2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  Negative thoughts can lose their power if we do not fear the thoughts and understand that thoughts do not define who we are and they do not control us.  We can be in control of our thoughts and our actions.

2.  Take negative thoughts captive.  How does one take negative thoughts captive?  There is no easy answer.  You have to try a number of techniques to see what works for you. One way to respond to negative thoughts is to choose not to focus on the negative thoughts by distracting yourself - read a book, listen to an uplifting song, or call a friend that makes you smile.  If you are struggling with worry, an effective technique can be to delay your worry.  Tell yourself that you will allow yourself to worry for for five minutes about an issue, but you have to worry on your lunch break.  Keep trying to delay your "worry time."  When you do make time to worry, set a timer and allow yourself to worry for a full five minutes.  Over time, this allows you to better cope with worry and to delay worrying for longer and longer periods of time.  One other approach that can be helpful is to try to analyze your thoughts as a third party observer.  Ask yourself, "Is this thought true?  Is this thought helpful?"      

3.  Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.  When we remove negative thoughts, we need to replace those thoughts with positive thoughts.  Find a scripture that encourages you, memorize it, and remind yourself of that scripture when you are having destructive thoughts.  Look to the Bible and study God's word for truth.

4.  Find a friend that can speak positive truth to you.  People often worry that they are the only person that has negative thoughts or fears.  This leads to shame and isolation.  Healing is often found when you find a trusted confidant that will listen to you and speak truth in your life.  Find someone who is positive and trustworthy.  Seek them out for encouragement when you need it.

5.  Get out of your head.  Many negative thoughts and worries occur because we are either worrying about the future or reliving the past.  Spend time daily focusing on the moment that you are in.

6.  Serve others.  You will not have to look far to find someone that is suffering or in pain.  Serving others helps take the focus off of your negative thoughts and redirects your energy to positive thoughts and actions. God has promised that if you "feed the hungry and help those in trouble, then your light will shine out from the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as the noon." (Isa. 58:9-10)

Our church is built on God's promise in Isaiah 58, that we can use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, that we will restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate our community.  God can use our thoughts to build us anew, and God can restore, rebuild and renovate our minds.  

If you have other suggestions for renovating our thoughts, feel free to share them in the comments.

Reflection - Small Things: Big Difference

This week, Mike spoke about small things that make a big difference.  Thanks to a kind friend at work, I was reminded that no matter how tangentially related the "small things" may be to the "big difference", I am making an impact on our organization, our employees, and our patients.  More importantly, the small things that I do every day are making a big difference in God's kingdom and the world.

As some of you know, I work in the legal department at a large academic medical center.  Working in the legal department can be demanding and stressful, and it is often easy to forget that my work has an ultimate impact on the people that we are here to serve - our patients.  Because of the nature of the work that I do, I often only hear the saddest stories, and I am often asked to advise on the difficult issues that have no easy answers.  I typically advise in cases involving people's poor decisions and bad behavior, and my interactions with patients are generally limited to helping someone with directions or observing their pain and illness from a distance.

I thought that today would be no different.  After lunch, I stepped onto the elevator with a young boy in a stroller and his parents.  The little boy had an obvious health issue that simply broke my heart.  I could feel tears welling in my eyes, and in my mind, I prayed, "God - why?  Why does this child have to suffer?  Why do his parents have to suffer?  How can I help them?"

When I returned to my office, I immediately sent Mike a text, which read:

"I need prayer.  My heart hurts.  Was just on the elevator with a little boy that broke my heart."

I then checked my calendar and saw that we were having a Service for the Blessing of the Hands.  This service was led by one of our Chaplains.  During the service, the Chaplain stated that many people do not think about the legal department and the work that we do.  However, he realized that we often have to carry heavy burdens that we cannot discuss with anyone - he recognized that these burdens are often incredibly heavy and important.  He said he wanted to remind us that "when we reach our hands out to do our work as part of the care of others, we are saying to others 'You re important to us and you are cared for by the efforts of many who value you and your needs.'"  He asked us to look at our hands and reflect on the ways that we bless others with the work of our hands.  My favorite part of the service was when he stated:

"We bless your hands in recognition of the Holiness of what you do every day... and to release the emotional burdens of those things done ... and those things yet to be done."

In that moment, our conference room felt holy.  Although my heart still ached for the little boy and his suffering, I realized that my hands do holy things each day.  I understood that on rare occasions I can do big things to help someone in need, but most days, I do small things.  Most importantly, I realized that I can pray to release the emotional burdens of the things that my hands do and that my hands have yet to do.

The Blessing of the Hands did not answer why that little boy has to suffer.  The Service did not heal him, and it did not stop the ache in my heart.  But the service helped me reflect on the beauty of Christ.  Because Christ is in my heart, I am able to share that love daily through the work of my hands.  No job is too tedious, no task is too small.  Because even the smallest, most tangential act of kindness and hard work can have a huge impact in a world that is hurting and in need of love.