This week, I have been under a lot of pressure. I have noticed the warning signs, but I was not able to stop the pressure from building, and eventually, exploding. Unfortunately, I took my anger and frustration out on the people that I love the most - my kids.
This week was just hard. I had a breast MRI which stressed me out, Mike was out of town (so I was working, getting all three kids to school, and keeping up with things around the house), work has been stressful (we are downsizing, and it is emotionally and mentally taxing to witness people lose their job), and there is even stress at church as we plan for the transition to our new building (while much of the church stress is "good" stress, it is still stress). On top of a rough week, this morning two of the kids and I had a piano recital. As I tried to get all three kids and myself ready, one of the kids was in a foul mood. We started the morning bickering. Then, as I tried to find an appropriate outfit for another of the kids, I found a huge pile of clean laundry hidden under blankets in the closet. As I pulled the laundry out, I became angrier and angrier as I saw the wrinkles, and thought of the times that my child had promised that he/she had put their cloths away. I blew a gasket (let's just say that this is not the FIRST time that I have found cloths stuffed under beds, inside toys, etc). I yelled and had a temper tantrum. Then I started to feel sorry for myself - you know how it goes - no one appreciates me, I work so hard and no one cares, I have failed as a mother, my kids don't love me or respect me, maybe I should just run away .......
When Mike finally got home, I was a mess. I told him that I had cried more today than I had in the past year. Mike told me to get out of the house and go to Salem Lake to ride my bike.
Now - before you think my husband is terrible, he was actually giving me the best gift that he could give me. Since I grew up in the country, I feel most at peace when I am in nature and connected to God. I got on my bike, and as soon as I started to ride, I felt peace. As I rode, I reflected on the need for each of us to take time to "refuel". For me, Salem Lake is one of my happy places.
I encourage each of you to take a little time to center yourself and connect with God daily. I will share some of the ways that I "refuel" in the posts on this blog.